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when you’re hungry and you remember there’s leftovers


when you realize someone already ate them


Conversation I heard in the club.

Shy Guy:  Hey there..
Random Guy:  Hey what's up?
Shy Guy:  Nothing much, just wanted to say you are really cute.
Random Guy:  Thanks dude!
Shy Guy:  So, are you here with anyone?
Random Guy:  Yeah, my girlfriend just went to the washroom.
Shy Guy:  Oh God, I'm sorry, didn't know you were straight.
Random Guy:  That's alright it's cool.
Shy Guy:  You don't mind me calling you cute?
Random Guy:  A compliment is a compliment no matter who it comes from.


Call me selfish but I don’t want you to meet somebody that makes you forget about me.


Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.